Solo Shuffle

RTX has been ongoing this entire weekend, and last month, my sister was lucky enough to get to visit some friends at Dreamhack Dallas. I, on the other hand, have yet to make it to my very first convention. And that honestly makes me a little sad.

Back in early 2020, before the pandemic really hit hard, I was planning to make Indiana Comic-Con my first convention. Both because it was local and I figured it wouldn’t have been so huge that it would be overwhelming for an introverted first-timer like myself. As the pandemic started getting really ugly though, that convention was obviously canceled and I got my money back instead of waiting to use my tickets for whenever it was able to come back. Things with this pandemic have been so uncertain that I didn’t really know if conventions would ever come back, so I was playing it safe. Indy Comic-Con did eventually make its return, but I still haven’t been able to bring myself to attend. Not from fear of COVID, but because my anxiety and depression have probably been at all-time highs over the past year. But the last few weeks, especially seeing all the photos from RTX, getting to talk to friends and family from Dreamhack, and doing some little things like going to the theater to see movies by myself, have convinced me that it’s time to start getting back out there and doing things that I want to do again.

It’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll find the money or be able to take the time off from work to go to TwitchCon this year. That event is my ultimate goal, not just as a Twitch streamer myself, but also because so many other streamers that I love and admire would be there to meet as well. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make that happen in 2023. For the remainder of this year though, I’m turning my attention toward another local event: GenCon! I don’t know what the event will be like, and since I don’t have many friends or family who would go with me, I may be attending it by myself. But truth be told, as nervous as it makes me, that’s also part of the excitement. Having recently flown solo to see a couple movies, I’ve learned that it may be possible that I enjoy the experience better alone. There’s nobody chatting in your ear during crucial moments, it’s fantastic! Maybe going to a convention alone will be an excellent experience as well? I’ll be able to avoid being dragged to anything that disinterests me, after all, and when my own internal battery starts reaching critical levels, I can simply pick up and leave without disappointing the people I’m with. So whether I wind up attending the event alone or with someone else, it seems like a win-win and I’m excited to see what things will be like once the event takes place next month!

Over the last couple of months, my doctor and I have been adjusting my medication. While I feel like FOMO is definitely tugging at me pretty hard, I’m hoping that the new levels of my meds are helping me feel like it’s time to start getting out and socializing again. Either way, it feels like the world maybe hasn’t ended just yet so maybe I should keep living in it while I can. Maybe I’ll see some of you while I’m doing just that.

Until next time…